Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Six More Days

I'm not sure how to title this post without making it seem like someone is dying.

But we are coming to the end of something pretty big, and it just kind of hit me a few nights ago.

There are six days left of summer.

Six days before school starts.

Six days before Drew heads off to kindergarten.

Six days before the everydayness of life with Drew will come to an end.

It really just occurred to me two days ago.  Once school starts, everything changes.  Yep, I've been looking forward to it, to be sure, for many reasons.  For one, Drew is so ready for all-day everyday school.  He's nervous, and it depends on the day whether or not he says he actually wants to go, but he's ready.  He's bored here at home.  I can't stimulate him enough, nor do I feel like I do a good job of trying.  And yes, I'm looking forward to what my days will look like with just Reed - namely, how much easier certain things will be with only one son around!  Although as I type this I'm reminded what an adjustment this will be for Reed, too.  He's going to miss his big brother terribly.  

So, Drew's ready.

I'm not sure I am.

This is the end, really.  The end of my days home with him.  Sure, there's weekends and breaks and summer...but it'll all be different now.  For five and a half years, it's been him and me.  Brad's been around.  Reed, too.  And for a while, my parents.  But Drew and I...oh man, that kid.

I'm gonna miss him.

I'm feeling a lot like I did on his first day of preschool two years ago.  He's taking off on this new adventure, and leaving me behind.  After being a part of, or at least knowing, virtually every second of his every day, I will soon be left out of almost all of it.  We'll talk about school everyday, yes, but Drew isn't real great about relaying as many details as I like to hear. :)

And I'm so nervous for him.  Because he's nervous.  I'm feeling his feelings so deeply.  He's timid and shy and not the least bit comfortable with new things.  He'll make friends, I know he will, but whoever that might be, he/she will have to be the one to approach Drew.  He'll do well in school.  He's so smart.  But if he struggles here and there, we will walk beside him and work through it together.  He will find community at school.  He will be challenged and he will have an outrageously good time.  He will come home and show us things that he has made.  He will soon be reading to me, instead of me to him.

He'll be a kindergartener.  He'll be off without me.  It'll be so so good for him.  And so so good for me.

I love it and hate it all at the same time.

But for now, I have six days.  Six days to party with my little man before we start this next step of life together.

Yep.  Together.  Because even though we'll soon spend our days apart, we're definitely doing this thing together.

Oh drats.  What will I be like when he starts high school?  College?  Gets married?

Lord help me!  

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